I just ordered pizza, or as I like to call it lately, "playing pizza roulette."

We've been ordering from this place for more than 10 years, probably about 20 or 25 times a year, and quality of service has declined significantly recently.

Last time we ordered, the delivery guy showed up literally empty-handed. He said he had accidentally given our pizza away to someone else. We were very hungry because it was already late when we ordered. I called them up and told them not to bother coming if they couldn't get the pizza to us within 20 minutes. Then I set a timer on my watch. The timer went off just as I was going downstairs to pick up the order.

I said to the delivery guy that this had never happened to me before. He said believe it or not he had done it before. I believed him; he looked kind of like Maynard B. Krebs.

It's fine to partake of the herb, which is now legal in California. But not if you forget to deliver the pizza.

Time before last we ordered, when the pizza was supposed to arrive, they called to ask if it was for delivery or pick up. Turned out they had placed the order for pick-up, even though of all the hundreds of times that we have ordered pizza from this place, we have only picked it up a few times.

Now that I think of it, one of the few times I ordered pick up, years ago, I arrived at the pizza place to discover they had sent it out for delivery. I got home at the same time as the delivery guy.

What's the over-under on whether our pizza arrives this time?